What have I done to myself? I'm having a difficult time with maintaining my weight. At times, I feel lost. Why am I experiencing these things? I tried to be very prayerful about all of this and I'll share the instincts that God's given me on this matter.
I've gotten stuck in Management Mode! My dad's in a veteran's home with Parkinson's Disease and I know that at some point, there may be a time when I will be grieving his loss. The part of me that likes to be in control found it very easy to become a Management Mode Christian. I stopped writing posts and started copying previous ones, because I felt that they had something significant to say that would be beneficial to readers, especially those who have not been reading the blog since it started.
Although I still feel that to be true, I was trying to plan for that time of loss. I was trying to control everything and I wasn't turning it over to God. I wasn't being open to hearing what He was trying to say to me or to what He was trying to do through me. He is showing me that He uses my many weaknesses to show readers like you His strength. If I am not actively writing posts, I'm not experiencing the insight that He openly shares with me, nor am I sharing them with you. If Christ is letting me know this, that means He will take care of me when the time comes that my dad passes. I don't have to try to control everything, so that I'm efficient. Maybe, God will use my grief or inefficiency for His own purposes, that I was negating while I was trying to be in control. This is a lot to be prayerful about!!!
Hold up my goings in Thy paths, that my footsteps slip not. Psalm 17:5
Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my walk with Christ, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verses.
