There was a time when I was very overweight, where I didn't join in many activities. I shied away from conversations with others, because it seemed that people tended to disregard what I said. It hurt, so it was easier to avoid encounters that might make me feel terrible about myself and my weight. My self-esteem was already dragging-I didn't need others to make it feel worse!
During this time, I read the passage above. God really worked on my heart. This passage, through God's guidance, made me wonder if the negative reactions I got from people were totally related to my excess weight. It made me realize that there was a possibility that I might have something to do with not being included in discussions further than my weight.
I watched others and saw that there were some very heavy people who had lots of friends and weren't excluded because of their weight or lack of trendy clothes. Maybe I hadn't shown myself friendly to these people all along. Maybe my facial expression was not of welcoming, but instead showed a reluctance to interact. Maybe.....and maybe not. The thing is, holding a grudge against thin people, those who are in the popular groups, or who wear trendy clothes, affected my self-esteem, because the chip on my shoulders had been too big to allow me to be open to others.
With lots of prayer, God has allowed me to work on being more welcoming to others. I look less at my feet or off in the distance and try to smile at others.The friendships I value most are still the ones where the people don't care what I weigh, don't care if I wear trendy clothes or care whether I belong to the popular groups. The thing is, Christ never cared about any of this. He just cared that I allowed these issues to hurt my self-esteem, which affect my relationship with Him, my family, others, and myself. I don't want to be a Chip On My Shoulders Christian, pushing away others the way I had. I want others to feel the warmth and acceptance that only Christ can give us, because He is always with us through Thick and Thin. A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my walk with Christ, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verses.
